What Has You?

{This post was originally shared on Gather Inspirit.}

“For I can testify that they gave not only what they could afford but far more.  And they did it of their own free will.” ~ 2 Corinthians 8:3, NLT

To be honest, this verse haunts me.

As I read it again and again, I keep asking myself this question:

Do I have my things or do my things have me?

How tightly am I holding to things that rust and moth destroy? My heart has been aching lately over the truth that far too often I love the things of this world more than I love the Lord of all.  I give my best efforts to making my house lovely and taking care of my family.  Noble pursuits to be certain … but are they good things taking over the best plans that God has for me?

What about my heart? I fear I’m failing in that area … my heart is filled with all sorts of unlovely.  Hurt, envy, selfishness.     My mind isn’t focused on that which is pure and of good repute … no , it’s focused on what I have and how to get more.  Not just the “stuff” but the insidious, hidden more … attitudes, habits, “guilty pleasures.”

What about the widows and orphans?  The sick, the poor, the lonely, the jailed? Too often I fall short here as well.  I prepare healthy meals for my family and make sure their world is as calm and secure as I can make it … and move quickly past those for whom Christ stopped.

I want my life to count for eternity, I long to have made a difference.  When all is said and done, I pray more has been done than said … and that the doing has been intentional, not incidental.  I desire to hold loosely to the things and people of this world and cling with all I have to the One who gave them to me.

So I ask myself these hard questions and I lay down the sorrow I feel about my answers.   Praying for a heart like His, a love like His, I ask for change, for tendering, for forgiveness, for grace. And He gives all of that and more.  And I keep asking …

Am I only giving what I can afford?  Am I only living what is convenient?

Are you?  Do you have your things or do your things have you?