It’s only halftime?

In case you are unaware, I am a football fanatic. I watch college football for HOURS every weekend.  It begins with the Thursday night game and doesn’t end until I’ve checked the new rankings on Sunday mornings.  We are Auburn fans at Chez Underwood … huge Auburn fans.  And my daughter is slowly learning to enjoy the game, or maybe it’s just that she enjoys watching her momma jump around like a crazy woman, I’m not going to ask.  Sometimes though, when the games have been on all day she’ll come in and ask if it’s over yet.  I’ll say, “Nope, it’s only halftime.”  And her response is, “It’s ONLY halftime?”

You see, she isn’t a fanatic and to her all the games run together … so it’s almost all one game – except the Auburn game.

Sometimes, as a mom, when I am weary from the emotional battles of an early-stages-of-hormones tween, I find myself thinking, “It’s ONLY halftime?”  But sometimes, as a mom, I look at her and I see only where I have failed and I begin to allow the enemy to heap guilt onto my spirit about what I should have done and could have done.  I forget, “It’s only halftime!”

Jackie Kendall, in her AMAZING book that every. single. mother. should read, The Mentoring Mom, says:

“Mom, resist the urge to take score at halftime.  The game is not over yet.  Too many moms panic when they see a less-than-desirable quality in their child.  Often this is a tutorial from the Holy One not only for the child, but also for the mom.” (183)

Thus we learn the final principle of Polite Parenting …

Measuring our success and failure as mothers when our children are young is a dangerous habit!  I am an example of “failed parenting” at age 16 and even at 23 … but today people consistently make the statement, “Your parents raised you well.” Based on my life at nearly 40, at who I am become as an adult, suddenly my parents’ inexperience and uncertainties, their mistakes and missteps, seem of far less consequence than their steadfast love, their ongoing encouragement, and their faithful prayers.

Fathers (mothers), do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4 NIV (emphasis added)

For those who, like me, long ago memorized this verse in the King James, you will recall the words “nurture and admonition” of the Lord.  I love this verse!  What freedom it brings.  It doesn’t say, “Bring them up in the parenting style taught in your church” nor does it say, “Don’t bring them up in public school” nor does it say, “Bring them up well or you have failed.”  Nope … it simply says (my paraphrase), “Raise them to know the Lord and teach them to love Him and His Word.”

Quick Greek lesson, okay?

Training: paideia, the instruction of children, also carries the implication of chastening or discipline, because effective instruction also includes discipline and correction.

Instruction: nouthesia, an admonition, warning, exhortation; any word of encouragement or reproof that leads to correct behavior, appeal to the conscience, will, and reason.

So, in practical terms, we need to remember that our parenting should be two things:

1. Grounded in the Word of God
2. Balanced between discipline/correction and encouragement.

And let’s face it … rarely is there a day when that all happens smoothly … but over the course of our children’s lives we have the privilege of guiding, chastening (I love that word!), instructing … and of warning (sometimes from our own mistakes and fallings), exhorting, and encouraging.

Mommas, don’t take score at halftime!  Allow God’s power to work through your efforts as you daily, moment-by-moment, entrust your child to the Lord’s hands.

How you do find yourself taking score at halftime?

Previous Polite Parenting Posts: (nice alliteration, huh?)

• Principle 1: Don’t make it about you!
• Principle 2: Obedience matters because it honors God.
• Principle 3: Be a student of your child.

{FYI, the link to The Mentoring Mom is an affiliate link through Amazon.  Should you choose to purchase this amazing book – which you can for $10.19 and it is worth so much more – I would receive a small commission.}