Welcome to day 3 of 28 Days, 28 Ways! I’m so glad you are here!
I have an incredible husband. I mean, really incredible. He is thoughtful and generous. He goes out of his way to make me feel beautiful and loved. I deeply appreciate everything he does for me.
And he totally got gipped.
I am generally not thoughtful. I am a terrible gift giver. In fact, there have been years when we have done nothing to celebrate his birthday. {In my defense, his birthday is within two weeks of both our anniversary and Father’s Day and that is a whole lot of pressure on someone who doesn’t have even a small bit of the love language “giving and receiving gifts.”} But still … he did not get the best end of the deal.
I know that. And it is one of those areas I am constantly working to improve.
A few years ago as I was preparing to teach on marriage, these verses jumped out at me:
The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. {Genesis 2:20-22 ESV}
A helper. That’s what we were created to be.
Helper: A person that gives help, assistance, or support.
Friends, that’s the first word Scripture uses to describe our role in marriage. Helper.
I sunk into that … realized I help people all the time. I offer my assistance and support to my friends and fellow church members. I’m good at helping others. But I had not been focused on helping my husband.
I prayed about it and the Lord led me to a very simple solution. I have made it a habit to ask my husband daily this question,
How can I help you today?
Sometimes he doesn’t have anything. Sometimes he needs me to type something or run an errand. Today his answer was {not for the first time}, “Could you please wash some towels?”
I’m willing to bet you have asked someone in the past week how you can help them. We offer our help to others all the time. But when was the last time you asked your husband how you can help him? Today, just do it. Give him a call or send a quick text. He might not have an answer. But I promise you he will appreciate you asking. And, if he does ask you to do something, make it a point to do it.
Learn to cherish your role of helping your husband. Embrace the sweetness of giving him support.
All righty now, off you go!
Happy Helping!
TL
{P.S. If you are just joining us for the 28 Days, 28 Ways series, you can find the previous posts here. We’re using the hashtag #28Days28Ways on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to share what we’re doing to invest in our marriages – please join in!}
This really works–I think it was last year I started doing this, and it really makes a difference FOR ME. It’s a great way to be intentional about combating my own innate selfishness.
Yes!! It seems almost too easy, doesn’t it? But it does really work. It forces me to stop and acknowledge that I have a responsibility to my husband … and to be proactive in coming alongside him however I can.
Thanks for the push to ask – I just texted him to see if there was anything I could do for him today since he was always doing things for me. The response…You do more than enough already.
My heart is full!!
That’s awesome, Melissa!
Oh, dear… yes, I like to do nice things for my husband (well, things I am comfortable with doing and I think are nice), but doing something he wants or asks, I’m afraid…. not so much. In fact, I usually have so much on my plate, I’m often resentful when he asks something of me. Ouch! My husband is out of town right now, but I’m going to text him now to see what I need to do at home today. He just might fall over!
Oh girl! We’ve all been there … but I love your heart that is willing to give it a try! 🙂