Love to Stay: A Must Read Book about Marriage

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Scott and I have been married 17-1/2 years. He’s my best friend and the only person on earth I trust entirely. He is my hero and the most godly man I know. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.

But, marriage is hard. Really hard. Even in the best situations, surrendering yourself to someone else is the most difficult choice we can ever make.

The past year or so has been difficult for us in ways we never could have anticipated. Circumstances beyond our control and choices made by people we dearly love have forced us to face fears and doubts that have, at times, shaken each of us to the very core of our beings. I’ve wondered if someday Scott would decide he’d rather be with someone else. He’s held me tight when the fears have overwhelmed me. My hormones and insecurities and fears have nearly crippled me some days.

When I shared about this a few weeks ago, I was encouraged to find I wasn’t alone in some of these fears and feelings.  I mentioned in that post I was reading Love to Stay: Sex, Grace, and Commitment by Adam Hamilton.  This book has been such an encouragement to me.  So often, books about Christian marriage are full of trite admonitions and promote a “one size fits all” approach to making marriage work.  If that’s what you are looking for, don’t get Love to Stay. You’ll be very disappointed. But, if you are looking for an honest exploration of what marriage looks like and how to build a marriage that lasts … this is a fabulous resource.  

Hamilton includes data such as that above from a survey he did at his church and while I found the numbers interesting, what I most love about this book is his willingness to share from his own experiences and challenge the reader to ask hard questions and commit to doing the work needed for a lifelong marriage.  

Hamilton approaches difficult topics such as expectations, sexual intimacy, and submission with a tenderness and honesty that opens the door for the real conversations we need to be having in our homes and in our churches about these issues.  In his chapter on sexual intimacy he made this statement which resonated with my heart, “This trivialization of sex, far from liberating us, robs our sexual intimacy of its power” {p. 59}.  When we reduce men to walking hormones and women become purely sexual objects, we deny the very real and beautiful gift sex is in marriage.  I think this is a topic we need to be more honest and open about within the church.

I appreciate that each chapter includes specific opportunities to reflect and engage. There are questions at the end of each chapter that encourage dialog between spouses as well as a prayer and encouragement to dig deeper individually.

I highly recommend Love to Stay: Sex, Grace, and Commitment by Adam Hamilton and am thrilled to be able to give away one copy of this book.  In order to enter, please leave a comment on this blog post sharing one thing you appreciate about your spouse.  You have until Sunday at noon to enter.  I’ll email the winner on Monday.

I’ll go first … I am thankful for a husband who sees past all my crazy insecurities and believes in who I can be and points me back to the truth of what we have when I start allowing the enemy’s lies to creep into my thoughts.

So, go ahead, tell me what do you appreciate about your spouse?

{I was provided a copy of Love to Stay: Sex, Grace, and Commitment for the purposes of review.  The opinions expressed are entirely my own.  I was also provided the giveaway copy of the book.}